Nightmares

I woke up last night/early this morning screaming.  I choked it back enough that I barely roused Morgan.  She was curled up sleeping peacefully in my lap.  I held her until the crying stopped, and then curled up in my bed, afraid to sleep.

This is irrational.  It's been so long since any of those things happened.  I don't know why my mind keeps bringing me back there, to that day...to that night, and the months of pain that followed.

Normally I can tell when I will have one...Normally something will happen during the day that I'll know has sparked that old fear in my head.  Last night...there was nothing.  I had good food, good company... played with Morgan.  I even got to talk with my friend, who I haven't really talked to for a long time after I got home.

I woke up way later than I had intended.  Now I have to get ready for work.  I HATE days like these.  I'll spend the rest of the day with that lingering cloud of unease over me.  I'd so much rather be at home, hiding in my bed.