Overwhelmed

I'm not sure where else to put this. I have coworkers that are on my facebook page.. Not just local ones from FCR, but one from Scotland, and the other from Idaho.  I am already embarrassed, so no way am I putting it up for their inspection.


I'm not looking for sympathy.  I'm not looking for pity.  Shame keeps me quiet.. but I need help, and I'm not sure where to turn.  I have a hard time admitting this to anyone, and in fact have not invited people over because of this.  My house is a wreck.  Not just a little untidy...but mostly unlivable.  90% of my dishes are in boxes..dirty. 


Over the past 10 years I've accumulated so much junk and now I'm overwhelmed with it.  I can't put it outside in my little storage shed as there's a very good chance it will either mold, or be eaten by mice and rats.  I can't keep it in here..there's just no room.  I can't just throw it out.. I need most of it...or somewhere in my hoarding mind, I think I need it, or want to hold onto it for Morgan's sake.  Old wedding pictures... yeah, Morgan might want to see these... Clothing that my grandma gave me that is about a dozen sizes too small, yeah.. these wont take much room in my closet.  I may lose weight some day, I'll hold onto these just in case... Morgan's clothes from all the way back to preemie newborn... I'll donate these...some day......


Christmas is in one week.  I'm supposed to have people here.  Dave.. his girlfriend.. who knows who else is going to show up.  My family is used to my pack-rat ways.. other people, not so much.  I finally got my tree up... but all I did was push junk from that spot to the other spot so I could move a couch around.  Now I have to figure out how to rearrange the furniture to make the space livable again and to unbury my couches.  I know HOW to do this.. I just have no motivation left.  Even knowing people are coming, and that this will likely be the last day I can take care of stuff here...I've just lost my will and my care. :(